it isn't worth it till your heart bleeds, is it? 

'Telepathetic'

I've been wondering how much longer I'd be able to stand for your lying and deceit and your utter selfishness.
You and I are so similar. Perhaps that's how we became so close in the first place. But it was the little ways we were different that forced us apart. And you are self absorbed and awful to the people around you. You treat the people who care about you as though they'll wait around for whatever shit you get them into, and they'll forgive you. You do what you want and don't care who you hurt, and I'm glad that you got hurt when you hurt me. I'm glad. I'm glad that I could make you feel as pathetic as you make everyone else feel.
And you are an awful, disgusting leech of a person. You are a liar and a fake, and i wish we weren't so alike, because I know exactly what's running through your head.
I love you. I love you so fucking much but god, you sicken me.
I'm glad. 

Fuck you

I don't understand because you love everything that I have learned to hate about myself 

And I'm so terrified that one day

Someday soon

My childish hysterics will seem immature and annoying

And my constant calls will be suffocating

And my protests when you compliment me will be tiresome

And you will grow irritated at how I always ruin the mood

And you will be fed up of always biting your tongue 

And you will glance at the text I send you without realising that the words are meant for only you

and you will stop caring about the things hidden in the crinkles of my mouth

And you will dread receiving my phone calls 

And you will be annoyed at the way I use your arm as a piano

Or at the way I whisper your name to the stars

Or how I turn my face into your arm and kiss it

And a part of me wishes that you despised all my quirks so that I know that I have nothing left to lose. 

But you love me and you care for me and you expend so much on me and 

I have you

And I can't lose you.

Chlorine and inferiority

You're standing in front of the mirror

In your swimsuit

'Ugh I look terrible'

You cringe at the elastic nakedness

It pulls you into

You gather your hair into a bun

And watch as your forehead is revealed

And realise you have a rather knob shaped skull

And you pull the swimming cap over your head

'Wow....my head looks so disproportionate when compared to my body'

And you snap the goggles on with a sigh of relief

Because it covers most of your face 

And you can hide behind its lenses 

Hide your insecurities

And you step into the water

An aching sense of familiarity washing over you

Till you are drowning in its chlorinated depths

And as you watch the sun rays

Dance on the swimming pool ground

You know that here,

You are flawless

You are magnificent,

You are invincible 

Here, in the water,

You are beautiful.

For my bbz

There's a quiver in your voice over the phone 

And you tell me that she left again

That she was a miracle and you are a witness

Watching the blazes of a shooting star

Die out in the sky

But it's so strange, because you have always been

The one who is temporary

An hourglass, spilling away your moments 

Till you choke in your sleep;

Alone, alone, alone.

A time bomb, making your presence known

With every word, exploding,

Leaving what was your world in tatters 

And at least I'm addicted to a cheap substitute for love

While there's smoke in your lungs and ash in your blood

And always you try to shield me from the ache in the world

But you grew up a servant when you should have been an knight

And now you've got bloody wrists and a broken me

Telling you to

Go back to bed.

how was i supposed to know that you were a universe? 

102

It scares me because he's all I've ever known. He destroyed me and I called it love.

And then there's you and you make me better you make me happy you save me a little more everyday

And it's so different to be taken care of.  

And gosh if before was love, my feelings for you are some rare explosion in the corner of the universe where stars collide and create new dimensions of epic proportions and a whole cosmos relies on us.